hallandoates1970topresent-deact:

Do you think Homer Simpson could smoke weed? I imagine him often, lighting a blunt or a joint (delivery system for marijuana smoke). He lights it with a basic plastic lighter. He takes the first puff. His eyes widen. He is surprised at the potency of the smoke, but he enjoys it. He enjoys the taste. At first, the burnt aroma is off-putting, but he soon learns to appreciate the aromatic, herbal notes present in the weed smoke. He luxuriates in the smoke. It surrounds him like a comforting blanket. As he takes his second hit, he marvels at the intricate network of woven “hairs. on the surface of the marijuana bud. It reminds him of a tapestry he once saw at the town museum. He is getting higher and higher with every hit. He’s never felt this way before. He experiments with smoke rings, exhaling through his nose. He feels that his mind is awakened. He is in a dreamlike state. He feels comfortable. His muscles relax. He is surprised when he notices how thirsty he is. He has never smoked marijuana before and he thought the thirst inducing properties of marijuana were purely fictional. He drinks a glass of unsweetened iced tea. Marge has been encouraging him to drink unsweetened tea instead of beer or soda to help him control his weight. In the past he drank the tea with reluctance and without enjoyment. But now that he is high he notes the complex flavor of the tea. It is smoky, bitter, tannic. He enjoys it. He is amazed that something as simple as iced tea is bringing him so much happiness. He picks up a chunk of marijuana from the kitchen table. “I could get used to this,” he thinks. “I’ve never felt this way. All of my senses are heightened. I feel serene, yet alert. I never want to stop being high. I want to be like this forever. I’ve fallen in love with marijuana and I never want to stop smoking.”

(Source: pastebin.com, via plum-soup)

cannibalchicken:

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(via lickmydecalsoffbaby)

kingfucko:

would a beheaded saint wear their halo like this

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or like this

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(via swordoftheberserkgutsrage)

ayem:

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great, my post is in some sort of dungeon

(via power-chords)

my main frame of reference for doing well in job interviews is that bit in the bank mission in hitman 2 where 47 can impersonate a job applicant and he just says a bunch of confident assassination puns–it went something like “I always Hit my Mark. I Execute my goals with Ruthless efficiency”–and the interviewers are just really impressed by his confidence and hire him on the spot

transmechanicus:

noxtheox:

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pathetic creature…

certified caniac

(via gorps)

mercedesbenzodiazepine:

I love locking my door like…you’re not coming in lmfao

(via gueule)

depsidase:

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(via grox)

Oh, woe is me!  To be transformed, transmogrified, shapeshifted, bewitched, and bemoaned!  To be naught but a gourd!

ectojammer:

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(via tramampoline)

luncheon-aspic:

calledoutpost-deactivated202103:

found the killer post again bc i lost it

Happy Halloween to all the ghouls, goblins and THE KILLER

(via filthburgur)

komsomolka:

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“Solidarity with the Palestinian people” East Germany stamp.

(via gueule)